The Ebony Key

Always deep inside I knew something was off,
Since the day I met you things were awfully odd,
And after years and years of loving you so,
I found out something is terribly wrong.

To tell you that I know what no one knows,
To confess that I never trusted you at all,
To say that I know what was meant to be unknown,
Is so hard maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.

I know I had no right to snoop around
And I should have respected your ground
Oh honey I wish I wouldn’t have done it as well
Because the info backfired in my face.

And I’m here torn apart because is not my right to call you out,
Because I know you want to keep it under warps,
Until you finally figure this thing out
not a word will leave this mouth.

But in the mid time I’m here pondering if I’m strong enough,
If I can live with what I know,
If its time to fall out of love from the only man I have ever loved.

I know it’s not your fault and is something you can’t help,
It must be something very hard to bear,
And I know it will hurt you to know that I am aware.

I think repeatedly on leaving you but,
How can I explain my reasons my abrupt decisions?
How can I tell you that I know what I know,
If doing so means destroying us.

I know what I know and it’s eating me alive,
I can’t tell my friends I’m embarrassed to talk it out,
I’m ashamed that I still love you no matter what,
I’m scared that I could live with this the rest of my life.

CCZ

And I’m here laying by your side

Wishing you were awake and loving me

Watching you breath in and breath out

caressing your skin, wanting to tell you so many things

but you sleep deep, inanimate, almost dead, tired, not knowing.

Not knowing anything at all.

And I ache because my time with you is running out, and I feel I am wasting time.

Haven’t I wasted too much all this time?

And I am here urging with lust, aching with pain, tormented by thoughts

Crying in silence and staring at the clock, wanting you to hear me somehow

But all I can do is roll around and hug you, pretend that I sleep deep, inanimate,

almost dead, tired not knowing. Not knowing anything at all.

I would’ve driven miles and miles just to see you for a little while
I would’ve ditch my friends a Friday night just to meet with you
I would’ve done whatever you liked in the bedroom
Because I loved you, because I loved you, because I loved you…

I would’ve changed my plans and follow you anywhere you wanted me too
I would’ve cooked your favorite meal even though I’m not the best cook
I would’ve stand your morning snoring and watch you sleep
Because I loved you, because I loved you, because I loved you…….

I would’ve wore your gym shorts to bed just to feel you closer
I would’ve stand your unshaven face kissing me again and again
I would’ve watched those stupid football games and even cheer
Because I loved you, because I loved you, because I loved you……..

But you didn’t seem to care
In the end my efforts were in vane
You turned your face, giving me an ungrateful gaze
and suddenly I knew it was too late

I would’ve walked away but I lacked strength
I would’ve turn off my cell, but I missed your voice everyday
I would’ve stepped aside, ran away, and hide but there is no use
Because I love you, because I love you, because I love you…..

I’m the sorrowful bird who spread it’s wings and fly
not to know the place but to meet new lands,
never stayed putt, never built a nest,
always moving forward and in different ways

It jumps from tree to tree,
Wondering in which will spend the night in,
And as the sunset fades and the stars shine,
It draws a map for tomorrows flight.

As the wind strokes it feathers,
And while it admires the beautiful view,
It can feel the wonderful weather,
It likes the smell of new.

Tired of flying maybe, tired of wondering not clear
When it leaves it sheds a tear,
But is it’s nature to run wild,
With no fear of what’s left behind.


I’m the sorrowful bird who explores,
Who comes and goes,
Wondering if someday it can find a force
To tame it home.

I want to be bad

I want to chew you up and spit you out

I want to be bad

I want to break you and put you down

I want to be bad, I want to be bad..

I want to be bad

I want to love you and leave you wanting, craving

I want to be bad

I want to tease you and leave you strained and waiting

But in the end, I’m always good, I’m the good girl you like to fool

But in the end, I’m always good, I’m the good girl you do this things to.

I want to be bad

I want to make you my past time while I hunt

I want to be bad

I want you to fall in love with lust

I  want to be bad

I want to be bad, I want to be bad…

I want to be bad

I want to make you come and go as I please

I want to be bad

I want to mess with your head repeatedly

But in the end, I’m always good, I’m the good girl you like to fool

But in the end, I’m always good, I’m the good girl you do this things to.

I want to be bad, but I’m always good

I’m the good girl who fell in love with you.

A while ago while ago a friend suggested that I should make a page, where I can post all the random stuff I talk about, so here we are. Lets see how I do!